The Battle of the Captains
by imaginary girl of the future
Summary: Meet Saria And Deana, The Captain and First Mate of a wrecked ship. Until they meet up with the strawhate crew. Saria thinks of a devious plan to get her hands on One Piece, but how will she get it? And will the StrawHat Crew stop her?
1. Chapter 1

I do not own One Piece and this story was a two person job so i cannot take all the credit, my friend also wrote it with me. ON WITH OUR FUNKY STORY XD

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_'There once was a man named gold Rodger, Who was king of the pirates, he had fame, power and wealth beyond your wildest dreams, before they hung him from the gallows, these were the final words he said" my fortune is yours for the taking, but first you'll have to find it first, I left everything I own in one piece" Ever since, pirates from all over the world set sail to the grand line, searching for one piece, the treasure that will make their dreams come true '_

"I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE" Deana screamed shaking her butt around,

"Stop that, you're disturbing me" Saria twitched.

Deana looked at Saria with a blank face then resumes dancing.

"YOU OTHER BROTHERS CAN'T DENY, WHEN A GIRL WALKS IN WITH AN ITTY BITTY FACE AND A ROUND THING IN YOUR FACE YOU GET-TIDAL WWAAAAVVVEEEE"she screamed.

"What?" Saria asked.

"THERE'S A TIDAL WAVE COMING" Deana screamed.

Saria looked towards were Deana was screaming at started to mentally panic. '_OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK' _her mind was screaming.

"All right, ALL HANDS ON DECK" the captain of the ship Killer Maiden screamed to her crew. Unfortunately for the captain and her first mate, there was no answer. Saria and Deana looked frantically for the rest of the crew but they were nowhere in sight.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY," Saria screamed.

"I think they left like 5 minutes ago" Deana said casually.

"WWHHHHAAAATTT"

"Yeah, but I was singing so you couldn't hear them" she said cheerfully. Saria was so tempted to punch her best friend but decided not to because there were more important things in hand.

"You're going to be in so much pain as soon as we're out of this jam, but right now we need to get off the ship, now get sir oinks-a-lot so we can start heading out" Saria said calmly. In less than 15 minutes the two girls and their beloved pet pig were a good distant away from their ship in a little rowboat when the tidal wave hit. Captain Saria watched her beloved ship go down to it's watery grave.

"My ship, my beautiful ship. It was only 15 days till I got married to it," she cried.

"You were going to marry the ship?" Deana asked.

"Yes. I loved it so much"

"I'd hate to see your children" Deana told her.

"I'd hate to see your face your once I've finished punching the shit out of it" Saria glared at her friend.

Deana kept on talking as though her friend didn't even make the insult to her, "I wonder if we should give the ship a funeral?" she asked.

"No, it died the way it wanted to, without you and your stupid pig crapping all over it"

"Well at least you know it's clean" Deana grinned.

Saria glared at Deana and once again forced herself not to punch her. ' Want to punch her, but must resist' she said in her mind.

"You know what's going to be eaten first if we get stranded on a deserted island?" Saria said while glaring at the pet pig that was happily snorting.

"Nooo, not sir oinks-a-lot" Deana shrilled.

"No, I'm going to eat your ass. You have plenty of it" Saria sneered. Deana turned around and looked at her butt, she smiled to herself and stood up and started dancing.

"I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE, YOU OTHER BROTHERS CANT DENY," she yelled in her singing voice.

"OH MY GOD, SIT YOUR FAT ASS DOWN BEFORE-," Saria screamed. Before she could finish her sentence, the little boat they were in capsized, sending the girls and the little pig into the freezing water. They swam up to the surface so they could get a gasp of air, but when Deana started to swim to the surface she noticed four little legs with hooves at the end swimming away.

As quick as she could, Deana caught up to her little pet and started to lead it back to the capsized boat.

"You idiot Deana look what you've done. You capsized our boat, now what are we going to do" Saria angrily told her crewmate.

Deana grinned" Well at least we know that we've had a shower today"

"If only there were piranha's in this water, I would make sure that they would eat you alive" Saria glared at Deana.

Saria sighed as she starred at the miles of water surrounding them. It had been at least two hours since they capsized their boat and had to sit on top of it and she had gotten quite sick of Deana's constant singing.

"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, tidily Dee. There they are laying on my chest, big one's no small one's, there both exactly the same. I think they might be bigger than your head," she sang happily.

"Deana, will you STOP singing. Please" Saria pleaded.

"Well if I'm not singing then what else am I supposed to do, I can't play with sir oinks-a-lot because he's asleep and you won't talk to me" She huffed.

"Then why don't we play a game?" Saria said in a monotone voice. A happy grin appeared on Deana's face at the thought of playing a game.

"What kind of game?" she asked.

"Looking for ships. Here's how you play it, when you spot a ship, yell 'Ship Ahoy'"

"SHIP AHOY" Deana screamed.

"I said to say that when you saw a ship you idiot," Saria said.

"I do, and it's heading straight towards us"

Saria turned around and sure enough, a ship was heading straight for them and it didn't move then it would run into them. The girls started the scream their heads off.

"DON'T KILL MY PIG. DON'T KILL MY PIG" Deana screamed as she clutched her favorite pet.

"SCREW THE PIG, DON'T KILL ME" Saria screamed back.

The girls gave a huge sigh of relief as the ship slowed down and steered around them.

"THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR RESCUEING MY PRECIOUS SIR OINKS-A-LOT" Deana yelled at the ship as it crawled to a slow stop in front of them. With one hard shove, Saria sent Deana flying into the freezing water.

"THERE NOT SAVING YOUR FREAKING PIG" Saria screamed as Deana surfaced.

"B-but why not" she said glumly.

Saria cringed in anger, she pushed her foot onto Deana's head to pushed her back into the water, "DAMN IT DEANA, YOUR PIG IS NOT IMPORTANT" Saria shouted holding Deana under the water with her foot.

"That's a funny way to sail around" A guy's voice said to them.

Saria turned her head to see the people in the ship looking down at them, "We're not sailing around, we're drifting, and my ship went down"

"Uh, I think your friend there is drowning" Another guy, with green hair, pointed out.

Saria smiled, " I know, isn't it great"

Saria sighs and lifts her foot off Deana's face, "Well, can you help us?"

A sweat drop appeared on the occupants of the ship.

"Sure, come on up and we can eat that nice pork of yours" The guy with a straw hat said drooling.

"Sure sure, just let us up and we'll give you the pig," Saria said sarcastically

"GREAT" he shouted.

"You're not eating the pig" she responded in a monotone voice.

"But you can let us up" She added on with a cute voice.

"But of course, a rare beauty such as yourself shouldn't be withering away in salty water like that. Your delicate skin must be getting tormented from all the exposure," a blonde haired guy said in a sweet talking voice.

"Uh, thank you" Saria said pulling Deana back onto the turned over boat.

In no time at all, the girls were sitting inside the ships dinning room with their new friends, the Straw Hat Crew. Saria couldn't help but laugh at the way that the crew's captain, Luffy, and their chief, Sanji, were acting. They were both trying to get a hold of Deana's pet pig so that they could eat it. Saria didn't mind this crew, they were pretty cool and were funny but Deana didn't seem to like Luffy and Sanji right now.

"I can make bacon and eggs, pork, just give me its backside, just a nibble," Sanji said trying to grab the pig from Deana's arms.

"DON'T TOUCH MY PIG" Deana yelled at him while giving him a sharp punchright in the jaw.

Saria laughed and looked at Nami, "I never thanked you all for letting us stay aboard here"

"Its no problem, the more the merrier and the thought of two more girls aboard the ship is always welcome in my mind" Nami smiled.

"So where are you heading anyway?" Saria asked

"THE GRAND LINE" Luffy shouted out of no where, his attention being directed off the pig for the first time since it came on board.

"The grand line aye? I've heard that that place is dangerous," Saria said casually.

"Who cares, I'm going there to get One Piece and to become king of the pirates," he told her confidently.

_'Not if I can help it mate. I know, Deana and me could hitch a ride from them and when we get there, we'll take their ship and the treasure from them. They won't know what hit them' _Saria thought. The now ex-captain looked over to her best friend and gave her a smile, Deana seemed to know exactly what Saria was thinking.


	2. Chapter 2

"FOR THE LAST TIME, DON'T EAT MY PIG. YOU'VE BEEN TRYING TO EAT HIM FOR TWO DAYS NOW, CAN'T YOU GIVE UP ALREADY" Deana screamed at Sanji.

"WHAT'S THE POINT OF HAVING A PIG AROUND IF YA NOT GOING TO EAT IT" Sanji yelled back.

"It's my pet," she hissed at him.

"Sanji, give up already. Luffy gave up ages ago, why can't you" Zolo told Sanji dully.

"I only gave up because Deana kicked me where it hurts" Luffy sobbed. Deana gave an evil laugh as she remembered Luffy's face when she kicked him. Nami, Zolo and Usopp started laughing but the fact that Deana had kicked Luffy didn't seem to faze Saria at all.

"You were warned," said Saria casually.

"I know but the it looked so tasty, all plump and ready for eating" Luffy drooled.

"If you even touch on little hair on my pig's head or body, I will get one of Zolo's swords and shove it up your ass" Deana told him.

"Why does it have to be my sword?" Zolo asked.

Saria cringed at Deana's remark and pushed Luffy aside so that she was standing in front of Deana.

" Aye if you do that to Luffy then I'm gonna get Zolo's other swords and cut off his balls and keep it in a tight sealed bag so that I can show him THAT HE HAS NO BALLS" Saria screamed.

Deana's face O.o

Zolo's face O.O

Everyone else's face oo'

"Oooh, someone has a crush on Luffy aye?" Deana teased. Unfortunately for Deana, Saria didn't hear the note of sarcasm and whacked her face into the mast, causing Deana to get a blood nose.

"OOOOOWWWWWWEEEEEEE" she screamed as she clutched her sore nose.

"WELL THAT'S WHAT YOU GET YOU MOFO" Saria yelled at Deana while poking her tongue at her.

"I HATE YOU," screamed Deana.

"I AM YOUR CAPTAIN AND I ORDER YOU TO NOT HATE ME"

"Wait, I'M THE CAPTAIN" Luffy realized.

"Not on this ship you idiot, on my ship" Saria told him.

"Well I don't see no ship, unless you call that little row boat your ship. If that's the case then that's just pretty lame," Zolo said.

"It's in maintenance," Saria hissed.

"What about your crew?" Usopp asked.

" Their on vacation" Saria made up.

"No there not, they left us behind cause that ti-" Suddenly the handle of Saria's sword met with the back of Deana's head. "Ok, I'll shut up" Deana whined.

"You must be a pretty crap captain if your crew left-" In one swift move, Saria used the handle of her sword to hit Zolo in the head.

"OOWWW" he yelled.

"It's ok Zolo, I feel your pain. No really I do, OOWWWW" Deana said while clutching her head.

"Poor Deana" Zolo said half sympathetically.

"I know," she said as she tried to rest her head on his shoulder but instead she only came up to his upper arm.

"Damn this shortness, but at least I'm not as short as you Saria. NYEAHAHAHAHHAAH" Deana laughed out loud. Deana suddenly hid behind Zolo, as though she knew what was going to happen next.

"I'm going to kill you" Saria hissed. A huge grin appeared on Deana's face.

"Ya know, if you get any shorter, you could be a walking head job," she told her.

Rage fumed inside of Saria and Sanji's eyes lit up in excitement.

"Don't get any idea's lover boy" Saria told him.

"Why don't we go have some lunch?" Nami suggested.

"Anything for you my love" Sanji floated over to her.

"Yeah, FOOD" Luffy yelled in excitement.

"Is that the only thing you think about?" Saria asked him.

"How can I go on if I don't have any food in my stomach"

After having another delicious lunch made by chef Sanji, the crew once again retired to the main deck of the ship. All the crew was occupied with something, Sanji was in the kitchen, Nami was looking at her maps, Usopp was telling tall tales but no one was paying attention except sir oinks-a-lot who didn't seem to be paying much attention either, Zolo was peacefully sleeping but was being constantly poked by Deana and Luffy was looking out to sea with Saria gazing at him from atop of the crows nest.

Zolo had felt Deana's finger poking him for some time now but didn't say anything to her about it, until he finally got sick of it.

"Why are you poking me?" He asked with his eyes remaining closed.

"Because it's entertaining me," she said.

"Why don't you play with your pig?" Zolo asked.

"He's listening to Usopp's constant babbling" Deana told him.

"Then why don't you join him?"

"Oh I see what's going on here, you hate me" she sniffed.

"No, I didn't say that, your putting words into my mouth" he stuttered. Deana started to sniff more frequently, which made Zolo think that she was crying.

"Wait, don't cry"

Zolo gave a small frown at the 17-year-old curly red head that was sitting next to him and gave a sigh.

"Fine, keep poking me if it makes you happy" he gave in.

"YAY" she squealed. As a sign of affection or just plain happiness, Deana wrapped her arms around Zolo's shoulders and held him as tight as she could, which wasn't very tight.

_'Wow, she has nice boobs'_ he thought to himself as Deana kept on hugging him.

He couldn't help but smile back at the cute smile she was giving him.

"Ok, enough with the hugging" Zolo told her as he gently poked her nose and pushed her off him.

"You know, your one weird girl. Do you know that?" he told her.

"I aim to please" she grinned.

_'He is so strange, he's their captain, but he is younger than them, he is a interesting creature'_ Saria thought to herself, her gaze not leaving him. _'I wonder what Deana's doing?'_

Saria found it hard to remove her gaze off of Luffy but she forced herself to look for her friend. To her surprise, Saria saw Deana mindlessly chatting and laughing with Zolo.

_'I guess Deana has found herself a little crush, she doesn't make an effort to talk to guys unless she likes them' _Saria smiled. After finding out what Deana was doing, Saria's head almost instantly went back to looking at Luffy.

She felt herself go into a sort of daze as she was looking at him and it took a bit to realize that he was looking back at her. After a while, Saria finally realized that Luffy was looking at her and when she snapped back into reality a giant grin appeared over his face. Saria snapped her head in another direction in order to break their eye contact, her face heating up by the second.

"LAND AHOY" Nami yelled. Everyone turned their heads to where Nami was pointing to and sure enough, a little island was right ahead of them.

"Yeah, land" Luffy exclaimed.

"What island is that?' Deana asked.

"That up ahead is Derwent Island, apparently that place has a good markets and is crawling with all sorts of merchants people" Nami informed us.

Saria looked at Deana whose eyes were now sparkling with excitement, they once heard of Derwent Island, but never actually went there, it was suppose to be the most famous place for exotic fruits and merchant's who have everything and anything you want.


End file.
